The Remedy
by Alena S. Anigor
Summary: It wasn't only his body but also his soul that needed to be healed...and he had never thought she could be his remedy. Post anime Satoshi x Risa. Reviews are welcome.
1. Fall

Disclaimer: D N Angel isn't mine; therefore, I don't own it. It's logical, ne?

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**The Remedy**

-by Alena S. Anigor

---

_I. Fall_

---

_Sharp, almost excruciating pain surged through his body as his knees touched the cold floor of some, to him, completely unfamiliar building. Images and sounds around him became just a blur as the monster inside of him threatened to come loose, unbind himself from the restricting chains he's been trying to secure him with and emerge from the deepest corners of his mind and soul. _

_Wings sprouted from his back, a light, swooshing sound breaking the buzzing sound in his head for just a second, before the pain coursed through him again, reminding him that he won't last any longer, that his hair would grow longer and his eyes would turn golden, narrow and menacing. _

"You can't hold me in there much longer, my dear boy," _a voice whispered inside his ear sweetly, almost gently but he knew that the creature, once he got out, would only cause terror and havoc to everyone around him._

_With his last ounce of strength, he raised his head to see his friends, soon to be turned into captives, staring at him in fear and horror - Daisuke Niwa, the boy who helped him defeat Krad...so how come he had managed to find his way back inside him? There was no Dark..._

_He shivered and huddled into a ball, clutching his chest as if trying to prevent the blonde from tearing his way out by sheer, physical force. _

"I want to be free...Release me...Let me out...Let me..."

"No!"

_Voices yelling around him, calling his name._ _White in front of his eyes...Cruel, hot, pain...Riku Harada staring at him in fright..._

"Pity."

_He screamed when he could feel himself slipping away completely, the pain intensifying rapidly and he could only shake his head and grit his teeth when he saw someone running towards him, calling his name, but he wasn't Hiwatari-kun anymore..._

_He watched Risa Harada halt with a start right in front of him, auburn irises wide with fear as she watched long, blond tresses shining brilliantly in the moonlight, golden eyes eyeing her hungrily, lips quirking into a cruel smile. _

"_I am free."_

"_Hiwatari-kun..."_

_He tried to move, tried to scream at her to run, to run away and take the others with her, but he couldn't. He was weak, exhausted, pained and bruised and he felt hot tears of anger trickling down his cheeks when he could do nothing but sit and watch Krad advancing towards her. _

"That's right my dear boy, that's all I need you to do_..."_

"_Hiwatari-kun!_ _Hiwatari-kun!" _

"Run! Run!" _He continued screaming inside, but he knew it was in vain; only Krad could hear him and that only managed to make the blonde smirk in satisfaction. The girl gasped and froze when he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her towards him, her sister and Daisuke running to help her. _

"Stay away! Krad, don't you dare! Krad!"

_He sank down; tears burning and stinging his eyes...how could this happen? How was this possible? All he wanted...all he thought he could do right now...How?_

_He started sobbing, the dull ache in his chest having nothing to do with his previous state. He choked on a sob and covered his ears to tune the screams around him out...It hurt. It hurt too much..._

"Yes, my dear boy...that's all I want you to do..."

_He could feel something inside of him shattering, but he didn't know what it was..._

"Feel."

---

Blue eyes opened with a start as his body reacted instinctively, making him rise up in a sitting position, his breath coming out ragged and shallow. But as soon as he lifted himself from the bed he regretted it dearly, for that same, sharp pain came back and he moaned, feeling like his head would split in two. He was forced to lie back down and close his eyes, black and blue swirling in front of him. His fingers were clutching his temples, trying to somehow soothe the pain and make it go away.

He felt hot, beads of sweat trickling down his face, whether from the nightmare or something else, he wasn't sure. He touched his forehead and realized that his skin was burning under his palm, the heat almost radiating off of him. The pulsating pain in his head wouldn't also go away and he sighed, his breath still coming out as uneven and his heart still thumping madly in his chest. It was just a nightmare...just a nightmare. He was in his room, in his apartment and there were no Krad, no Daisuke or Harada twins.

But just to make sure, he moved a bit in his position, trying to see or feel any signs of wings on his back. There were none; only painful scars remained as a reminder that they were once there.

He took a deep, shaky breath and exhaled slowly, blue orbs directed at the blackness of the ceiling. The blinds were down and only a few beams of moonlight managed to squeeze through, bright streaks of light playing over his carpet and his bed.

He glanced at the clock on his nightstand and frowned. It was 3:17 in the morning and he was awake with an immense headache and a high temperature. And he was supposed to go to school in a few hours.

"Damn it," he muttered, willing his eyes to close and his mind to drift off to sleep again, but images of Krad and his friends kept on haunting him throughout the night and it was past 5 in the morning when he finally fell asleep from exhaustion and weariness, his eyelids burning and his head spinning. He had unfolded the sheets sometime in the process because it has become almost unbearable to sleep underneath them, his hot skin welcoming the coolness of the room.

He fell into some kind of a half-sleep state, where his eyes were closed and his body at ease, but his mind refused to give it a rest.

And when he finally opened his stinging eyes a few hours later, he discovered that he was shivering although he was hot, the searing pain in his head had subsided to a dull throbbing sensation and his throat was burning. His hair was messy and damp, as well as his pillow and the sheets beneath him.

He tried to cough, but he had to clear his throat first to do that and then regretted it.

It hurt to lift his arm up to brush a few of damp strands away from his eyes and when he tried to move, he let out a groan, his whole body trembling with fever and aching. It was like every bone and muscle in his body refused to cooperate and he fell down on the sheets again, managing a pained glance at the clock and cursing under his breath.

He was late for school. It was way past noon. And he was sick.

And when his cell phone and telephone decided to work in unison and united to damage his hearing and make his head explode, he just sighed and looked at the shiny rays of sun, squeezing through the blinds.

"Damn it."

---

"You think we should go and pay him a visit?" Riku Harada asked, glancing somewhat worriedly at her boyfriend who was currently walking beside her.

Daisuke's equally concerned expression mirrored her own when he looked at his watch and then back at her and at her sister who was walking beside them, eyeing them curiously.

"I don't know...perhaps...we should?" Daisuke replied with a question of his own, making Riku sigh and look forward. Risa lowered her head and stared at the concrete beneath her shoes pensively as they made their way from school.

She had to admit that she hadn't seen much of Satoshi Hiwatari lately. Or Hikari, because she knew now that he was adopted. And she didn't want to blame him for what happened between him and Daisuke...between the entities called Krad and Dark that resided inside of them.

One, little selfish part of her blamed him, though for Dark's disappearance. For when Krad was sealed away, so was Dark and that meant no more night heists, no more trying to catch the thief and go on a date with him...no more exciting things that had managed to bring in something new and thrilling into her boring life and surroundings. It was back to normal, back to school, back to same ol', same ol'.

Still, she knew it wasn't the boy's fault the things had turned out that way...

Her eyes saddened when she remembered how he was even so desperate that he tried to take his own life to rid them all of Krad...he didn't deserve to be treated the way he was...He needed someone now to help him stand back on his feet. He needed...he needed friends.

She sighed; when had things changed so much?

"I think..." Risa finally said and broke the uncomfortable silence between them, "I think we should go and check up on him."

Daisuke smiled and nodded at the idea, although her sister gave her a somewhat puzzled, inquisitive look that she promptly ignored.

"Yeah...I think he shouldn't be alone...especially not now." Daisuke added, his voice lowering down a bit, the scenes that had happened a couple of weeks ago still fresh in his mind. And they would probably stay embedded there for the rest of his life.

Riku sighed and stopped in the middle of the street, Daisuke and Risa stopping as well to look at her oddly.

Riku just smiled and shook her head, glad that she had such a compassionate boy for a boyfriend. And her sister has changed a lot since that fateful incident.

"Let's go then," she said and they headed down the street and towards the apartment they knew he was currently living in.

---

Trying to answer the phone and the cell phone at the same time proved itself as a very bad idea.

Not only did Saehara bug him with another case of a raving fan girl dressing up as Dark, but he also had to listen to his stepfather asking him about his whereabouts and his academic achievements.

Satoshi frowned; there was no doubt he was already well informed about his absence during classes.

Forcing his body to move, he reached his closet and opened it in a search of some decent clothes.

He cringed and grimaced when he tried to put on a simple, navy blue shirt over his head, the aching muscles in his hands and torso protesting immediately. It took him a while to put his pants on, trying to make his body stable while balancing his weight on one leg. In the end, he had to sit down on the floor to get dressed, the dizziness he was feeling preventing him from standing up straight.

He had to move, though because the kettle on the stove was already howling, the water inside on the verge of spilling out.

He managed to drag himself away from his room and to the kitchen, grabbing a teabag from the counter and placing it into the mug on the sink. He turned the heater off and just when he was about to grab the safety glove from the sink to grab the handle of the kettle with, a doorbell rang and he resisted the urge to growl at whoever dared to disturb him to go away.

When he heard familiar voices in front of the door, he sighed and put the glove down, contemplating the choices he had.

He could stay here and not open the door and then have the magnificent three calling him on the phone or coming back tomorrow again to ring on his door. God knew the Harada twins had minds to move the mountains with if they wished to. Niwa-kun...well, he was just there to follow the original plan.

He sighed again after the bell ran for the second time.

So, that left him with another option...And he decided that it was probably..._probably and hopefully_ the better one.

He put on his best mask, the one of sheer indifference and aloofness and managed to suppress the urge to wince when his legs carrying him to the door resulted in his head threatening him with a seizure.

The commotion outside seemed to stop for a while and when he opened the door, carefully pushing the doors open, he was surprised to see only Risa Harada in front of him, holding her schoolbag in her hands and smiling at him merrily. Funny; and he thought he had heard more voices...Great, now his hearing had also decided to conspire against him.

He arched an eyebrow at the younger twin whose smile vanished slowly upon seeing his face.

Risa stared at him in a mixture of wonder and worry, making him frown in discontent. He cleared his throat, as painful as it was (and congratulated himself for not grimacing at the burning sensation) and grabbed the door handle for support. His legs were starting to work against him now, as well.

"Hiwata...Uh...Hika...Uhm..."

"Despite my real last name, I am still a Hiwatari, Harada-san," he replied and frowned at his voice, coming out as raspy and gruff. He watched the younger Harada blush in embarrassment and for some odd reason, found satisfaction in it.

Risa wanted to smack herself on the forehead but just smiled uneasily at him in response. She frowned soon after when she noticed in what kind of shape the boy was.

His hair was messy and disheveled, even slightly damp on the tips. Was he having a shower when they interrupted him? She looked more closely and noticed the slightly glazed look in his eyes that seemed somehow so out of character by looking so strangely unfocused like that. His face was pale although his cheeks were slightly flushed. He didn't even have his glasses on and his clothes were wrinkled. He looked so...torn.

"Was there something you wanted from me, Harada-san?" He asked her, his grip on the handle tightening. His head was spinning and his body ached, desperately demanding something to lie on. He knew he had to get rid of her and fast but his moral and ethics, as well as the knowledge of etiquette called for him to be polite as much as his body allowed him to. But the inquiring and scrutinizing look on her face was starting to annoy him and he started doubting his decision to open the doors as a good one.

Risa snapped out of her stupor and looked down, suddenly feeling awkward for standing there alone like an idiot. Daisuke and her sister have gone to buy some things, Riku demanding that they bring something with them, instead of showing up at his door empty-handed.

And so, Risa was left there to ring the bell and wait for him to open the door.

"Uhh...well, we were kind of worried for you since we don't see you at school lately and...and...well..." There she stopped, watching his body shiver slightly and his fist clenching by his side. "Hiwatari-kun...are you all right?"

The pain in his head had become almost unbearable, as well as the dizziness accompanying it, his low blood pressure also stepping in action to add up to the whole bunch. His body decided to not obey him any longer, the searing pain in his bones and muscles making him feel like he would topple over any second. He gripped the door handle tighter, his knuckles turning white; his other hand flying up to his forehead to feel his skin burning like fire.

Risa stepped back, her eyes widening in sudden fear that Krad had come back once again. She already half-expected wings to spring out of his back, but when he just looked at her pleadingly and apologetically at the same time, she gasped.

"I'm sorry, H-Harada-san, but now's not the ti..."

She yelped and leaped forward just in time to catch his falling figure in her arms, his weight making her fall down on her knees together with him, his head falling in the crook of her neck, making her shudder.

Her breath quickened; her heart racing madly in her chest when she realized that he had just collapsed in front of her. She gasped softly when she could feel the heat on his forehead seeping through the fabric of her school uniform. He was sick.

"Hiwatari-kun!" She exclaimed, trying to make him say something or do anything at all, but he remained unresponsive.

"Oh...what am I supposed to...Riku, where are you?" She exclaimed to no one in particular, not knowing what to do with an unconscious boy in her arms who was neatly resting in her lap, his head leaning on her shoulder and his arms hanging limply by his sides.


	2. Breathe

Disclaimer: I don't go by the name Yukiru Sugisaki, so D N Angel isn't mine.

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**The Remedy**

-by Alena S. Anigor

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_II. Breathe_

---

The small hall was empty, save for two people sitting in the middle of it in an awkward position; the blue-haired boy who was currently lying in the girl's arms, seemingly asleep and the bewildered looking girl who was frantically trying to do something about it, glancing desperately at the entrance doors of the hall.

"Come on, Riku, where are you?" She almost cried the words out, feeling utterly helpless and perplexed. She glanced at the unconscious Satoshi Hiwatari in her arms and grimaced, looking at his pale complexion and his damp, tousled hair.

She shifted a bit, feeling slightly uncomfortable sitting in a position like that – she was practically sprawled on the floor with her classmate on top of her, his body limp and leaning into hers and his breathing shallow. Now, to someone else the scene would look quite amusing but Risa didn't think it was funny at all.

She had tried to lift him up numerous times already, but found his body surprisingly heavy to lift although he looked so scrawny and underweight. She even tried to wake him up by shaking him and calling his name but the boy didn't open his eyes or even budge at her fruitless attempts to make him come to.

By now she was starting to panic slightly, looking around anxiously and trying to move for just a bit to get him off of her. She needed to get help and fast; what if the boy died in her arms, for crying out loud?

She gritted her teeth and managed to push him away slightly, making his head loll to the side and rest in the nape of her neck. She shivered and inhaled sharply, somewhat disturbed by her racing heartbeat and the heat that managed to rise up to her cheeks, as well.

"Get a grip on yourself, Risa!" She scolded herself, frowning at her own shaky voice that echoed off the walls of the hall. Hiwatari-kun needed help and she was thinking about how his hair smelled nice and how his breath tickled the skin on her neck and-

"Gah!" She screamed in frustration and huffed angrily at herself and at Satoshi for being the main to blame. Did he just have to collapse in front of her and on top of her today of all days and couldn't he wait or choose not to open the door or, or...something!

She moaned in despair and then jumped slightly when his lips brushed against her neck again, making her face heat up even further.

"Oh, this is just ridiculous!" She cried out and mustered enough strength to push him away from her firmly, leaning his body on the opposite wall of the hall. She steadied him carefully when he started to slide down the wall and quickly stood up to run for some help. His face was now almost ghostly white and Risa was seriously becoming scared now.

She took a few hurried steps down the hall when she stopped abruptly, hearing voices from a few stairs below and her eyes widened in relief.

Riku and Daisuke were just about to turn behind the corner when Riku yelped; feeling someone bumping into her and almost sending her crashing down the stairs if there wasn't for Daisuke and his quick reflexes. She felt someone grabbing her by the hand and then heard a familiar voice that belonged to her sister and somehow sounded oddly panicky.

"Thank God! What took you so long? I told you to hurry up and-and-and...and now Hiwatari-kun is probably dead and it's all our fault and...and..._we_ _have to do something!_"

Both redheads stared blankly at the screeching younger Harada who wasted no time and grabbed them by their hands, yanking them forward and making them both yelp in surprise, Riku almost dropping the bag filled with fruit and sweets.

"Risa, what is going on here?" Riku asked finally after regaining her composure but when Risa finally stopped pulling them behind her and stopped dead in her tracks, Riku and Daisuke looked past her at the lying, lifeless figure of Satoshi Hiwatari on the floor and their eyes immediately widened. Risa just gasped and clasped her hands over her eyes, something akin to dread washing over.

"Oh, my God, he's dead!"

---

When Daisuke confirmed them both that Satoshi Hiwatari was still alive and breathing a few minutes later, the twins sighed heavily in relief. Risa was especially relieved – she already thought she had left the poor boy to die alone in the middle of the hall and that thought had made her feel awful.

"He has a fever, though," Daisuke murmured thoughtfully a moment later, glancing at a stunned Riku and at Risa who nodded anxiously at his statement.

"He just...he just collapsed in front of me," She replied in a half-whisper, looking at the pale boy in concern. Daisuke looked at the open doors of his apartment and looked at Riku who understood the meaning of his intense gaze.

She placed the bag with groceries on the floor and was by his side in a second as Daisuke lifted Satoshi in a sitting position, observing the paleness of the boy's face worriedly. He looked like someone pulled him out of the grave and Daisuke frowned, feeling ashamed for not paying more attention to his friend, especially after what happened between Dark and Krad a few weeks ago. He still remembered the promise Satoshi had given him – that he would try to enjoy his life and smile but Daisuke knew that that was easier said than done. He snapped out of his stupor when Riku gave him a questioning look and he nodded briskly at her.

Riku grabbed his legs and almost yelped when she, too, found out that Satoshi Hiwatari was actually quite heavy. Daisuke lifted him up with no difficulty, though and Riku looked at her sister for some help but the younger replica of her was still standing stiffly by the wall and staring restlessly at the blue-haired boy.

"Risa!" Riku's loud voice snapped her out of her shaken state and she jerked slightly before she understood the order and grabbed the boy's other leg carefully.

"Okay, ready?" Daisuke asked and the twins nodded firmly. "Up!"

They managed to carry him to his bedroom and place him on the bed carefully, Riku leaving the room immediately in search of some cold water and a cloth. Daisuke ran outside to fetch the bag while Risa remained in the bedroom, standing stiffly by the bed where the unconscious boy was lying. Tears gathered slowly in the corners of her eyes as she shook her head.

She felt so sorry for him that she couldn't help but let out a sniffle, eyeing him sadly beneath her bangs.

Daisuke was back with the bag, placing it on his nightstand slowly and then looked at Risa questioningly, noticing the paleness of her own face. He wanted to ask her if she was okay when Riku came rushing inside with a pot filled with water and a white towel in her hands.

"It's the only thing I could find," she muttered when Daisuke gave her an odd look. She placed the pot on the nightstand next to the bag and dipped the towel in the cool water, wringing it firmly after she glanced at the boy on the bed and leaned down slightly.

Carefully, she placed the wet towel on his forehead, brushing away a few disobedient blue locks in the process and then straightened up, glancing at Daisuke who was frowning. Risa was silent, chewing her bottom lip nervously.

"He's still unconscious," Riku stressed out, her brows furrowed as well. Daisuke then moved suddenly, remembering something his mother taught him a few years ago. He approached the bed from the other side, grabbing Satoshi's legs and raising them upwards. Riku blinked at the scene before Daisuke explained his action.

"Raise his arms, too," he instructed in a serious voice, making the older twin reach for two lean, cold hands and lifting them up hesitantly. "It will make his circulation flow better."

They were standing like that for a few moments, not uttering one single word, waiting for something to happen. Finally, when Satoshi's brows knitted slightly, Daisuke sighed in relief. Riku blinked in astonishment when she heard him breathe more steadily and clearly, some of the color returning to his face.

"Good," Daisuke said and gently lowered his legs back. Riku did the same with his arms but she left them on his chest, crossing the one over the other gently. She almost flinched when she realized that he really looked like he was dead now. She quickly uncrossed his arms and put them beside his body. She looked at Daisuke expectantly, slightly confused and dazed by the whole ritual.

"Now what?" she asked her boyfriend on which Daisuke took a deep breath and shrugged somewhat helplessly.

"I guess..." he started then looked at the sleeping boy on the bed, "We should let him rest."

"But..." Riku replied hesitantly, glancing at the towel on his forehead. "The fever..." She trailed off and then turned around when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Risa was still pretty much shocked by the whole mess and the worst thing was that she was feeling kind of responsible for it, too. Maybe...maybe if they hadn't come and maybe if she hadn't been so persistent he would rest in his bed now and perhaps, feel better. Instead, he chose to greet her politely even though it was obvious that he could barely stand on his feet.

She felt an odd pang of guilt in her chest; something she felt she had to redeem herself for.

Her eyes softened at the troubled, almost tortured look on the boy's face as he frowned in his sleep. She snapped out of her thoughts then, catching a glimpse of conversation between her sister and Daisuke and made a decision.

She decided to help him get better. It was the least she could do.

She almost snorted at her own thoughts. She guessed she was really growing up like Riku had said a few days earlier...

"I'll stay here," she said, raising her head a bit to look at a puzzled expression on her sister's face.

Riku blinked again, trying to somehow collect her own thoughts and connect the events that were obviously out of her control today. "Huh?" She managed to mutter, looking at the determined look in the identical, warm chocolate eyes across her. Risa smiled at her reassuringly and nodded at Daisuke's equally baffled expression.

"I'll stay here and take care of Hiwatari-kun." She repeated and looking at the boy, strolled past her sister to bent down and remove the already warm towel from his forehead. Daisuke was staring at her in wonder.

"Risa-san," he whispered and then looked at Riku who only smiled at her sister softly and then went to stand by his side, intertwining her fingers with his.

"Risa-san, are you sure about this?" Daisuke asked, just to be sure she wouldn't run out of his apartment later, wanting to go home and leave Satoshi all alone again to manage on his own. But Risa just nodded at him with a soft smile and wringed the towel firmly in Riku's fashion, putting it back on the boy's forehead.

"Okay, then..." Daisuke murmured and walked hesitantly out of the room, casting one last worried gaze at his best friend and reminding himself to come and visit him tomorrow.

Riku pulled a chair from the corner of the room and placed it by the bed, letting Risa sit on it with a heavy sigh. She was observing her little sister carefully for a while before she put a hand on her shoulder. Risa turned around to look at her questioningly but Riku just shook her head and smiled knowingly.

There was indeed more to Risa than met the eye sometimes.

"If mom calls-"

"I'll tell her you're already sleeping or something, don't worry," Riku interrupted her question and Risa smiled in return.

"Thanks, Riku."

"No problem. And..." The older Harada whispered and then started walking out of the room but not before winking at her mischievously, making the younger twin blink in wonder. "...take good care of him."

With that, she disappeared behind the wall, leaving Risa to stare after her with a blush on her cheeks.

"Hmph," she mumbled and crossed her arms over her chest indignantly. She sighed, though when she heard the sound of the front doors closing and the eerie silence filled the apartment, disturbed only by the occasional car passing by outside. She turned around and noticed the reason for her discomfort – the blinds were down, engulfing the whole room in dark shades and tones. She shuddered at the sensation creeping down her spine; it felt like she was in a dungeon.

Slowly, she stood up and approached his window, pulling the little string by the side and making the blinds lift a bit, letting the sunshine inside happily. She smiled at the warm rays then went back to her previous posture, sitting on the chair again. She clasped her hands in front of her, letting them rest on her lap and looked at the sleeping boy on the bed.

Brown eyes were observing him almost wistfully, remembering the times they had shared a conversation, no matter how odd or brief it had been, and the way he was polite towards her, sometimes even brutally honest. But, his eyes were always cold, his body always tense and rigid, his voice always cool and smooth, his lips always set in a thin, firm line...

She thought he was just weird like that, a boy genius who was slightly obnoxious and conceited for being so gifted until she found out the real reason behind his confident, elusive mask...

She grimaced slightly at the memory of the sadistic creature residing in his body for so long, making him suffer; making him distant himself from others just to keep them safe. He was deprived of all beautiful things in life because of his condemned bloodline and she thought that was far from being fair. Her eyes saddened at the frown on his face when he shifted a bit in his sleep, his head rolling to the side slightly, the towel sliding off his forehead for a bit.

She bent down immediately, fixing the towel as gently as possible, feeling the material heating up over his feverish skin. She stood up when she noticed him trembling slightly, brown eyes searching for a blanket or something to keep him warm. He was lying on his sheets and she couldn't risk waking him up just to cover him so she turned around, spotting the closet in the corner of his room.

She strode to the wooden piece of furniture and hesitantly, opened it, the closet revealing a pair of shirts and pants hanging on the hangers and a few clean sheets above on the upper shelf. Risa frowned – his wardrobe was definitely very modest. Her lips quirked into a victorious smile when she spotted a spare blanket at the bottom of the closet, quickly reaching for it.

Carefully, she unfolded it and took a few steps forward until she was close enough to him and placed the blanket gently over his body, covering him entirely. She stepped back, eyeing him intently as if expecting him to wake up and glare at her. When that didn't happen, she sighed in relief and sat down again, leaning in slightly to remove the already warm towel and soak him again with cold water.

She could feel him shiver at the contact but then he relaxed again and sighed deeply in his sleep. Risa's face softened at the sight and gingerly, she brushed a few strands of his hair away from his eyes, eyeing him thoughtfully. He looked so...weak and fragile in his sleep that she couldn't help but tuck the blanket under his chin gently, wanting to make him feel comfortable and safe.

She leaned back and sighed slowly, feeling tired all of a sudden. She let her eyes close for a moment, telling herself she would rest her eyes for just a bit, but the treacherous sensation was smarter and before she knew it, she was falling asleep, her body leaning forward involuntarily to land on something soft and warm.

Minutes after, she had fallen asleep on his bed beside him.

---

_Coldness was surrounding him as he walked slowly down the unfamiliar, odd corridor. Everything around him was white; a misty fog enveloping him almost possessively, trying to stop him from walking further down the path. _

_He was stumbling awkwardly, his eyes hazy and glazed, his body aching and on the verge of collapsing, but there was something ahead that he wanted to reach so desperately. He didn't know what was waiting for him out there in the white, misty space but somehow, he had a strange urge to go forward, to reach it, to see it, to touch it. _

_Voices were whispering around him, making him shiver, the chilliness only intensifying his discomfort. He stopped suddenly and turned around briskly when he felt a gust of cold wind behind him. Blue eyes widened in fear, expecting to see the creature that haunted his dreams and his reality in front of him, but only thick, white fog greeted him, not a sign of Krad there._

_Still, the voices kept on whispering strange things around him; telling him, reminding him...haunting him._

"_There he goes..."_

"_The white one..."_

"_The monster..."_

"_Satoshi-sama..."_

_He flinched at the suffix and stopped abruptly, knowing very well who used to call him that way. _

"_Krad," he hissed, his breath coming out as another puff of white in the icy corridor. "Go away!"_

_A snicker, followed by a disturbing giggle._

"_Will he run again?"_

"_Yes, he will..."_

"_He always runs away..."_

"_Satoshi-sama..."_

_He shook his head sharply and gritted his teeth, not being able to listen to them anymore._

"_Shut up!" He screamed in anger, his body shaking violently from exhaustion and fury. He managed to make another step forward, then another, willing his body to move away from the voices, away from the taunting giggles and snickers. There was something in front of him he needed to reach; something different and warm...something he longed to feel his entire life. _

_He came to a halt when the icy space suddenly became warmer, more welcoming. He left the voices behind him, taking slow, painful steps towards the warmth, wanting so much to see what was at the end of the corridor. _

"_Hiwatari-kun?"_

_His eyes widened and he blinked, the warm, soothing voice sounding so oddly familiar. He squinted, trying to see the person behind the mysterious warmth and then exhaled sharply when a girl with long, brown tresses appeared in front of him, smiling so gently at him that his lips involuntarily lifted as well, albeit slightly, uncertainly. _

_She outstretched her hand slowly, the smile widening on her pretty face, inviting him, asking him to come with her and his hand was already lifting up, wanting so much to take her hand and let her take him anywhere she wanted..._

"_Satoshi-sama..."_

_He breathed and spun around, staring at the white abyss behind him fretfully, feeling the chilliness clawing at him again, desperate to reach him and imprison him once again in its clutches._

"_He belongs to us..."_

"_Yes, he does..._

"_Don't you, Satoshi-sama?"_

_He backed away from them and turned around to reach for the girl's hand, for his only anchor but the girl's face had saddened as she started slipping away from him slowly, tears glistening in her eyes mournfully. _

"_No, don't go, please!" He yelled, fear starting to overwhelm him again. He tried so desperately to move forward, to escape the coldness of the corridor, but the girl had disappeared completely, leaving him to stare dully at the bright white in front of his eyes, feeling the coldness reaching for him once again and enveloping him in eternal white. "Wait..." he whispered dismally, feeling so pathetic all of a sudden. _

"_You will always be with us..._

"_You can't escape us..."_

"_Satoshi-sama..."_

"_Come to us..."_

_He fell down on the white floor and screamed in agony when white wings sprouted from his back and he could feel his skin ripping apart, hot pain surging through his body..._

---

"No!" He screamed and was up in a flash, blue orbs wide open, staring ahead in sheer horror, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

He blinked a moment later when something white fell over his eyes and then toppled down to rest on his lap, the blanket covering his body.

He stared somewhat absentmindedly at it. A towel?

"Hiwatari-kun?" His head spun around so quickly that he had to close his eyes to prevent the sudden surge of dizziness. When he dared to open them again, he blinked, thinking for a moment he was still dreaming.

Blue eyes stared in disbelief at a pair of brown, weary ones as Risa Harada woke up from her slumber after hearing a startled yelp somewhere in front of her. She blinked the haziness away quickly when she noticed that he was up and gaping at her in shock, his eyes watching her incredulously. The towel was resting on his lap neatly, the blanket pulled away from him hastily, blue locks still tousled and unruly.

A weighty pause followed in which the two teens were staring at each other awkwardly, Satoshi gawking at her in puzzlement and Risa looking at him in concern. Then, the tense moment was broken when he finally snapped out of his stupor and realized that Risa Harada was in his apartment, in his room and by his bed which, quite frankly, disturbed him somewhat.

"Harada-san?" He crooked and then coughed a bit when he felt a scratching sensation in his throat again, his eyes narrowing slightly in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

---

**a/n:**

I wanted to add some manga scenes in this but then I remembered that manga is different from anime and to be honest, I haven't seen or read both so...yeah...-deadpans-

Anyway...thank you all for wonderful reviews and I hope I managed to keep everyone IC...it's kind of hard to write the characters well when all you have is a few visited D N Angel info web pages and a few good fanfics read as the main resource...But, still, I hope you liked it! Comments and constructive criticism is welcome!


	3. Try

Disclaimer: I don't own D N Angel. Bunny-sensei does!

**The Remedy**

-by Alena S. Anigor

---

_**III. Try**_

---

Soothing warmth was seeping through the blinds slowly, caressing Risa's hair and back, rays of golden dancing past her slender figure to shine happily into Satoshi Hiwatari's eyes. He squinted and wanted to raise his arm to shield his eyes from the blinding sunlight but he gave up when he realized it took too much effort and strength he didn't have. Instead, he managed to shift a bit so her shadow fell across his face and he was able to look at her again.

And frown in puzzlement.

Risa's mind was still half asleep as she was trying to blink the grogginess away, staring absentmindedly at a very confused looking Satoshi in front of her.

"Hu-what?" She mumbled, wiping her eyes slowly, reminding the blue-haired boy of something so childish and innocent that he had to blink at her antics, wondering just what was going on here. He cleared his throat a bit, the action making it burn and his head throb.

"Harada-san," He started hesitantly, watching her slowly coming to her senses. She blinked at him, as if realizing for the first time where she was. She straightened up, an alarmed expression crossing her face. Satoshi took it as a sign to continue. "What are you doing here?" He repeated, studying her facial expression carefully. She seemed almost...embarrassed.

"Uhmm..." Was all younger Harada could mutter in her defense, staring at the piercing blue eyes in front of her uneasily. What could she tell him? That she was responsible for nearly killing him and that Daisuke, Riku and her were playing doctor afterwards with him?

Satoshi was waiting patiently, gazing keenly into her eyes, making the brown-haired girl blush faintly.

"Well..." She ventured, glancing sideways at the open doors of his room and then back at him, intertwining her fingers in her lap nervously. "Don't you remember?"

Brief silence ensued between them; the girl looking at him uneasily and the boy observing her sharply from the bed. He shifted a bit, trying to prop himself on one elbow, all the while trying to remember what had happened. The pulsating ache in his head refused to ebb, but he was too stubborn to give into the urge to plop back down and close his eyes.

His eyes narrowed slightly in concentration, his mind replaying images and scenes from before but his head throbbed unpleasantly, making him feel slightly nauseous. Risa watched him carefully from her position in the chair, studying the small wrinkles around his eyes and between the bridge of his nose somewhat curiously.

Frowning, he managed to remember waking up late. Then there was a knock on the door and he remembered seeing her on his doorstep. He grimaced a bit when his body reminded him of the sharp pain in his head he had experienced the moment before he...collapsed?

He looked up at the younger Harada twin with a questioning look in his eyes.

"I...I collapsed..." It was more of a statement than a question, but she nodded anyway, her features softening slightly, her fingers still fidgeting in her lap.

"Yes," she replied and then suddenly lowered her head, something akin to shame crossing her pale face. "I'm sorry, it was my fault."

Her choice of words made him blink in mild surprise and he looked at her questioningly, gazing at her bowed head and hunched shoulders. He did remember wanting to send her on her way and have some piece and quiet to himself, but she had been persistent and stayed until he couldn't hold back the pain anymore and collapsed. What happened next, he didn't know.

And that worried him.

Despite the still unpleasant sensations in his head and shivers running through his body, his ever logical mind refused to let the fact that he was at his door and now placed in his bed, go by. How on earth did he end up in his bed if he was at his door? The younger Harada twin couldn't have possibly carried him to his bedroom all by herself. He frowned, making the brown-haired girl by his bed look at him with an almost sorrowful expression.

"How did I get here?"

So, the tricky question still came...

"Ehh...well..."

Risa swallowed and looked away, finding the doors of his closet a very intriguing thing to look at. Satoshi frowned almost instinctively at the action, his sharp, keen mind reminding him that glancing away while answering means the person is either hiding something or isn't telling the truth. His eyes narrowed slightly and when Risa looked at him again, she stiffened, the look in his eyes making her shudder. He almost resembled...Krad. She gulped.

"Uhm...well...t-then, uh..."

"Harada-san," Satoshi began, watching the flustered girl with something akin to interest and warning in his eyes. He was too tired and sick to argue, wait and use his persuasive methods on her. "Just tell me what happened."

The tone he spoke in was calm, cool and collected, almost soothing and Risa relaxed slightly, albeit hesitantly. She took a deep breath and nodded to herself, as if encouraging herself it was safe to continue. Still, the part where they played doctor with him, she decided to leave out.

She exhaled, and began.

"Well, after you collapsed...Daisuke and Riku came and...and then we all brought you inside to your room and, and, and then we placed you on the bed and we realized you had a fever and then Riku put a towel on your head and then they had to leave but we couldn't just leave you like this so one of us had to stay and watch over you so, then I decided to stay and...and...I...fell asleep?"

She explained everything in one sentence and ended it with a sheepish smile, leaving the blue-haired boy on the bed to stare at her oddly. She blushed slightly at the piercing look he was giving her and bowed her head quickly, her fingers intertwining nervously in her lap, the rays of sunlight seeping through the blinds and playing on her back and hair. The warmth she felt on her back didn't help her, though, against the icy blue of his eyes.

Silence ensued between then again; Satoshi processing the newly acquired information and Risa hating the awkward pause that seemed to have stretched on indefinitely. The girl shifted in her seat after noticing the boy still staring at her somewhat sharply, blue irises seemingly piercing right through her. She coughed softly and looked about the room, not being able to look at him and his pale face. He still looked so torn and exhausted, despite the look in his eyes and the wheels in his head turning and she felt a pang of guilt again for disturbing him when he needed his rest the most.

Satoshi's head was spinning slightly now; both from the illness and from the fact that she decided to stay with him to watch over him. The latter was perhaps, more responsible for odd twisting in his chest and stomach, although he didn't know why exactly. For a moment, he was afraid Krad might return to haunt him and hurt him again, but he couldn't feel or hear him in the back of his mind so he exhaled slowly, deeply in relief. So, Niwa-kun and Harada-san were also here and he wasn't hearing things when he heard more voices outside his apartment...But...

_She decided to stay to watch over you..._

Something warm rushed through him suddenly; something familiar but yet different and he jerked involuntarily, not knowing what it was or why it came. It made his heart thump a bit quicker and his eyes widened in fear. He reacted quickly and smothered the sensation down, the fear of that unknown and confusing emotion making him suppress it immediately, instinctively, like every time he had to stifle his other emotions from fear of Krad's appearance.

He took a deep breath, retreating back to his shell and regaining his composure as much as his state allowed him to, when the younger Harada twin finally spoke, her voice slightly high-pitched and edgy.

"Well, aren't you going to say something already?"

He blinked and looked at her flushed face and blazing eyes, wondering what was now up with the strange girl.

Risa knew she would never win a prize for the most patient person in the world, but the silence was starting to really get on her nerves. Not only hadn't he spoken a word, but he had also stared at her like she was some kind of freak of nature and after a couple of minutes of that, she simply had to snap.

Of course, she regretted it a moment later when she saw the look of something completely different and almost _kind_ in his eyes being replaced by ice and coldness again. Perhaps, she shouldn't have yelled at him...

"Sorry, I...didn't mean to..." She muttered under her breath and bowed apologetically when she didn't have the strength to look him in the eyes anymore. Why was everything always so weird and strange with him? She scolded her mind when it whispered treacherously to her '_Because he really _is _weird and strange!_' and sighed heavily. It wasn't his fault, after all...and he didn't deserve to be treated that way after all the things he had to go through.

When she heard his next words, though, she grimaced and stiffened, knowing that she had blown it.

"I think you should leave, Harada-san."

Chocolate eyes met icy blue ones and stared at them sorrowfully, apologetically, almost pleadingly, but they remained passive and unresponsive. Cold.

"But...but, but you-"

"I'll be fine, Harada-san," he interrupted her when she motioned at the towel on his bed and the pot on his nightstand, forcing his muscles to stretch a bit so he could reach the towel that lay in front of him on his knees. Risa swallowed again, feeling so stupid and pathetic for making him hate her now probably even more. She lowered her gaze and stared dully at her hands, fingers fidgeting nervously in her lap. She bit her lower lip and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," she whispered solemnly, tears gathering slowly in her eyes. Satoshi's mask cracked for just a second when he noticed moisture in the corners of her eyes but he knew that the best thing for them both would be if she left him alone. He wasn't ready to have company yet...or to have someone to take care of him or watch over him. He knew how to do that best.

He only _had_ himself to take care of him...Himself and Krad...but that was a different story...

When the younger Harada twin didn't budge from the chair but instead started to wipe away the tears from her face, he felt something twist inside of him. He wanted her to leave, not to cry because of him. He straightened a bit in his position and grimaced inwardly at the still present, feverish pain in his bones and muscles. Searching for the right words, his lips parted.

"It's not your fault, Harada-san," he began carefully, watching her lift her eyes a bit to look at him. The crestfallen look on her face made the twisting only worse.

She stared at him suspiciously, not believing his words. She was still convinced he hated her.

"You shouldn't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. But," he halted and chose his next words carefully, "I need some rest and...I need to be alone. Still, thank you for...taking care of me, but I'm fully capable of doing that myself."

With that, he sank deeper into the pillow and left the girl to gape at him miserably, her tear stricken eyes eyeing him in wonder.

"But," she croaked meekly, "But what if you pass out again, and, and, and never wake up again, or worse – what if you die?" She added, her voice wavering slightly, the scenario already playing in her mind, creating a dead Satoshi in his bed, all alone when she was supposed to be by his side and take care of him and...

"Harada-san," Satoshi's smooth baritone snapped her out of her stupor and she looked at him in fright, as if he was already on the verge of slipping away. He only stared at her blankly. "I assure you, I'll be fine."

It took her a few moments to realize that he was still waiting patiently for her to leave. He didn't have to say it but it was visible in his eyes. She bit her lower lip again and sniffled, still not quite convinced in what he had said, but...she couldn't and didn't want to stay there if she was unwanted. So, she nodded dully and sniffling once more, stood up hesitantly, taking one step towards the exit before she stopped again and turned to look at him. He was observing her impassively from his bed, not saying a word.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" She asked softly and he nodded slowly, gripping the sheets with his fingers tightly. The dizziness was making him feel nauseous again.

Risa nodded in understanding and then remembered the bag filled with fruit and sweets Riku had brought. She looked about the room and found it lying by the nightstand. She crossed the short distance to it and lifted it up gingerly, placing it on the nightstand by the pot with cold water. Smiling solemnly at him she pointed at the bag.

"We brought you fruit and sweets in case, you know..." She trailed off, looking at him as if expecting him to smile back. Instead, he just nodded and said "Thank you".

Not knowing what else to do or say she sighed and bowed respectfully in front of him. "Goodbye, Hiwatari-kun. I hope you'll get well soon."

With that, she cast one last glance at his expressionless face, turned and left out of the room, her hair flowing behind her softly and leaving him in the solitude again. He exhaled loudly when he could hear the sound of doors opening and closing and grimaced at the sharp pain that coursed through his head. His fingers managed to find the towel in a mess of sheets and blanket and place it on his forehead, the coolness of the material bringing him instant relief.

He let his arm slip down and stared at the ceiling blankly, mulling the today's events in his head. No matter how hard he tried to block out her words and tears out of his mind, the images kept coming and he had to close his eyes, his body aching and begging for some rest.

He took a deep breath and forced his mind to stop thinking about her. He didn't need this or her or anyone right now. He didn't want to bother or burden anyone with his problems. He wanted and needed to be alone. He was better off alone.

Being alone was something he was best at, anyway...

He had fallen asleep a few minutes later, the towel still resting on his forehead and his fingers gripping the blanket tightly.

---

When Risa came home that afternoon, Riku was busy talking to someone on the phone.

When the older twin spotted the younger replica of herself, her eyes widened and she quickly whispered something into the phone handle and hung up, trotting her way to her sister quickly.

"Risa! What are you doing home so early? I thought you were stayi-"

"He wanted me to leave him alone," came the half-muffled reply, accompanied by the sound of her schoolbag being dropped to the floor recklessly. Riku blinked at her in wonder and then grabbed her by the hand when she wanted to walk past her, her eyes directed to the kitchen tiles.

"What? What do you mean? What happened?" She asked her worriedly, watching her younger sister's woeful expression. Risa just sighed and plopped down on the chair behind the counter in the middle of the kitchen ruefully. Riku stared at her intently, various thoughts going through her head.

"Did he hurt you; did he do anything to you?" She started; panic and anger tinting her voice but Risa only shook her head dismally, sinking into silence once again. Riku was at a loss of what to do. "So, what happened then?" She exclaimed angrily, flailing her arms expectantly.

"I think," Risa began and then sighed heavily, "It was more the other way around."

That made the older Harada twin blink in puzzlement again. She frowned, wondering what the heck she could have done to him that made _her_ look so down and dejected. Riku was truly confused now. Not to mention annoyed by the whole thing and her sister's behavior.

"Risa," she spoke in a warning tone, "what happened there?"

Risa just let out a sniffle and lowered her head until her forehead was resting against the cool surface of the counter. She felt so miserable and guilty and even mad for reasons still unknown to her...In short, she was a mess and she didn't know herself whom to blame. But, she did know that his words, together with his behavior hurt her...and that she had hurt him in some way or another...And that she was feeling hurt now she couldn't get rid off and...

"Risa?" Riku's concerned voice made her blink away the tears in her eyes she didn't even know started falling again.

She looked at her sister sadly and then back at her own, wretched expression in the metallic surface of the counter.

"I think he hates me."

---

**a/n: **

Uhm...hello there?

I'm so sorry I haven't updated this story in... :counts: ...seven months! Ack!

I'm still living and working at a hotel that's like...on the opposite side of the country but I'll be going back home sometime this weekend and then hopefully, I'll have more time for my stories... :pats her stories:

Anyway, this was written in a hurry so if you think this chapter sucks completely, I couldn't agree with you more. :deadpans:

Till next (hopefully, better) update, take care!

A.S.A


	4. Rise

Disclaimer: They denied my request to change my name into Yukiru Sugisaki so I still don't own DNAngel!

**The Remedy**

-by Alena S. Anigor

---

_IV – Rise_

---

_The cold breeze tousled his bangs; freezing him to the bones and making him shiver. He stopped walking and looked around, remembering the place – the same, white, misty corridor he had been dragged into, filled with sinister voices and a preying monster. _

_He inhaled deeply, the coldness nipping at his lungs and took a step forward, his weary muscles protesting against the exertion but he ignored the searing pain in them, exhaling slowly, his breath coming out as a white, puffy cloud. He kept on walking steadily, subconsciously searching for the warmth and the mysterious girl that had showed up the last time. She was gone now, and the corridor seemed endless but he hoped she would come again. He wanted to know who she was, he wanted to feel her warmth and kindness; something he was denied all his life. And most of all, he wanted to reach for her hand, his only ticket out of the cruelty of white around him. _

_He leaned forward, grunting when he felt a stab behind his temples before he jerked when a cold whisper flew by, almost grazing his cheek as a gust of chilly wind._

"_Satoshi-sama..."_

_His shoulders tensed and his body shuddered and he stopped for a brief moment, closing his tired eyes to somehow block the images of the monster that was dwelling and hiding in the whiteness. _

"_Go away," he spat and continued forward, dragging his feet across the cold floor of the narrow hall, his fingertips grasping the frosty wall for support. He pulled them away a moment later, as if burned by the voices that reverberated off the wall, letting out hisses and hollow howls._

_A derisive snicker echoed somewhere from behind him and he spun around, coming face to face with swirling mist, mixing with his ragged breaths. "Go away!" He repeated, turning around and making his way down the hall again, grasping the material of his shirt where his heart was pounding in his chest madly, his lungs burning. His vision became blurry and the hall shook before his eyes, white turning into blinding light. _

"_No..." He choke out, walls vibrating with haunting voices when he leaned against one, his body sliding down._

"_Not this time..."_

"_She's not here..."_

"_He lost, the white one..."_

"_You chased her away...Satoshi-sama..."_

_His knees touched the cool ground as he sunk down, his head spinning, beads of sweat trickling down his face, the ache in his chest intensifying. Why wasn't she here? Where did she go? He just wanted...He just needed...He just..._

"_He's still here..."_

"_You'll always be here..."_

_Something cold and misty touched his chin and his eyes snapped open, blue, tortured irises staring in horror at the cruel, amber ones._

"_With me, Satoshi-sama..."_

_And then he screamed when his skin ripped open again and wings sprouted from his back, feathers flying all around the corridor, his pained voice echoing off the mocking walls..._

---

Specks of white danced in front of his eyes when he woke up with a start, breathing heavily; linens on his bed crushed under his clenched fists. He was lying still for awhile, staring at the ceiling mutely until his heart returned to beating normally and his thoughts sorted themselves out, telling him it was only a dream...Just a simple nightmare he was having every night that often left him feeling torn and ill after waking up.

His grip loosened and he let go of his sheets, one hand flying to his forehead to find a towel still resting there. It was dry and warm from his body heat but at least the fever was gone and he took a deep, shuddering breath, when his fingers wiped the remains of sweat from his face.

Painstakingly, he lifted himself from the bed, his clothes disheveled and rustling in the darkness. He scanned his room, his eyes adjusting to the darkness slowly and finally settled on the alarm clock on his nightstand. He blinked wearily and removed the towel from his forehead, staring at it dully for a couple of minutes.

Even gone, Krad wouldn't leave him alone. Amber eyes chose to haunt his dreams when they couldn't haunt his reality anymore...

Satoshi sighed and leaned back into his damp pillow, his hair hanging limply down his face.

The blinking light of the alarm clock was the only thing in the darkness of his room as he stared at the ceiling blankly, counting minutes until the morning came.

---

Riku had barely managed to wake her up in the morning when her alarm clock totally failed to fulfill its purpose.

When she looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes widened in horror at the sight of dark rimes under her eyes, the paleness of her skin and the state her hair was in. All in all, Harada Risa was a mess. She sighed wearily and decided to just gather her hair into a ponytail and wash her face.

She chewed on her piece of toast absentmindedly, ignoring the worried glances her sister was sending her and staring out the window at the waking dawn. She had spent the entire night in twisting and turning in her bed, fixing her pillow, unfolding her sheets, going to the kitchen for a glass of water until she had finally fallen asleep an hour before the alarm clock went off.

And it was all because a certain blue-haired boy's face was constantly invading her mind. She had even considered going out in the middle of the night to do something, _anything_ with herself to make the disturbing swirl of emotions inside of her stop making her feel so restless. By the time she had finally closed her eyes, it was only because she was too exhausted to keep them open.

Her lips created a bitter imitation of a smile when she remembered how she had used to spend the nights awake, thinking of the Phantom Thief or trying to sneak somehow under the police lines unnoticed just to see him. Or she would wait on her balcony, hoping he would come to see her and make her fantasies come true somehow...

Risa shook her head somberly and grabbed her schoolbag, following Riku outside mutely. She had been so...naive and...and childish and...and now she couldn't sleep because some blue-haired, bespectacled boy genius was occupying her mind at night...Honestly, she was so pathetic...What was wrong with her? So what if he had told her to leave? Any normal person would want to be left alone to rest when being sick, right?

Except, she knew he wasn't exactly falling under the _Normal Guys_ category and _she_ definitely wouldn't mind some company while lying sick in bed...

She frowned, staring at her feet as they carried her down the familiar path to school. She didn't stop until she heard her sister's voice calling for her behind her. Snapping out of her stupor, she turned around and gave Riku a questioning look, deciding to stop thinking about it. She had more important things to take care of – like her grades that were still not matching Riku's. The older twin in question was looking at her oddly.

"What?" Risa snapped and Riku blinked in wonder, still staring at her somewhat bemusedly.

"You..." Riku began hesitantly, pointing at her slightly, "you're going to walk to school?"

It was Risa's turn to blink in confusion at her sister before she realized that she had just joined her sister on her daily jogging route to school. Reprimanding herself inwardly for not paying attention where she was going, she just shrugged and continued walking down the path, her schoolbag swaying to and fro. It was too late to go back and tell the driver to take her to school, anyway. She'd be late.

She raised her head slightly and looked at the pinkish hue of the clouds above. "Yeah," she replied confidently, "I feel like walking to school today, so?"

Riku didn't say anything; she just frowned a bit and resumed walking, catching up with her younger half soon. They walked in silence for awhile but then Riku couldn't take it anymore and stopped again.

"Risa..." She said, watching her younger twin halt and look at her again. "Are you still...worried about Hiwatari-kun?"

She waited patiently, watching her lower her head so her bangs covered her eyes before she raised her head again and smiled. Riku blinked.

"He said he'd be fine," She replied in a light voice, the smile still plastered on her face. "What's there to be worried about? Now, come on!" She added and turning around swiftly, started to run down the path, her shoes clinking against the pavement. "We're going to be late!"

Riku just shook her head and started running after her, staring at Risa's back worriedly.

---

Daisuke was waiting in front of the school, tapping his foot against the concrete and glancing at the clock every now and then. Usually, Riku would be there, waiting for him but today, both twins seemed to be late and the redhead hoped nothing had happened to them on their way to school.

When he finally spotted both of them running hurriedly towards him, he heaved a sigh of relief and waved to them.

"Riku-chan, Risa-san!"

Riku's face lit up immediately and a small blush crept upon her cheeks as she waved back to him. "Morning, Niwa-kun!"

Behind her, Risa was practically wheezing, trying to keep up with her sister all the way to school. She was grateful Riku had finally stopped running and started walking towards Daisuke, otherwise she thought she would've collapsed on the ground. She stopped in front of the gates and put her hands on her knees, gasping for air. She really was terribly out of shape.

"Risa-san?" She looked up and caught both Daisuke and Riku gaping at her in wonder. "Are you all right?"

She managed a shaky smile and nodded assuredly at them. "Y...ye...yeah, I'm fine! Don't...worry!"

Riku deadpanned and turned to her boyfriend who sweatdropped at the wheezing reply. "I told her she didn't have to run all the way with me, but you know how stubborn she can be..."

Daisuke smiled uneasily and nodded before the ring of the bell warned them that the class was about to begin. Riku and Daisuke both started running towards the entrance, leaving Risa to gawk after them in horror. She flailed angrily behind them.

"Wa...wait for me!"

She managed to straighten up somehow and started dragging herself after them, glaring at the confused looks on her classmates' faces.

She would _really_ have to start working on getting in shape.

---

Satoshi pushed the button on his cell phone and ended the conversation with his stepfather, glaring silently at the bypassing streets and people.

He leaned back into the seat of the car that stopped and the driver turned around to tell him they were there. He raised his head and his weary gaze fell upon the sign on the tall building. Azumano High.

With some difficulty and resolve, he stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut, the limousine turning around and disappearing down the street. His hands delved into the insides of his pockets as he headed towards the entrance of the building, a frown dominating on his facial expression. After having a not so pleasant chat with his stepfather about his whereabouts and reasons for skipping classes, he told him it was none of his business what he did and why and hung up, his temples throbbing mercilessly.

His body demanded the bed, the soft sheets and the peace and quiet his apartment offered back, but his mind was already too strung out and tired of images of Krad and white halls to let him change his mind and stay at home. He still didn't feel quite well but he had to go somewhere, leave his place and do something with himself; anything to keep his mind off the mental torment his nightmares had been giving him lately.

With Krad and Dark gone, he wasn't needed at the police station that much and the only place that offered him some kind of solace and comfort, was his high school life.

He looked at the sign of Azumano High briefly before he opened the door and sighed when the familiar halls greeted him when he stepped inside.

---

Dropping her schoolbag on the floor by her desk, Risa plopped in the chair and sighed heavily. Riku cast an unreadable look her way before she, too, sat behind her desk, locking gazes with Daisuke who raised his eyebrows questioningly.

She wanted to saunter off to him to tell him about everything that happened the day before, but before she had the chance, the door opened and Satoshi entered the classroom, causing most of the girls to whisper excitedly among themselves. The annoyed look disappeared from Risa's face when she spotted him and she tensed visibly, biting her lower lip when he strolled past her casually, hinting nothing about his wellbeing. She did, however, notice the definite lack of sleep on his face – his eyes were also sporting dark circles.

He glanced at Daisuke briefly whose face turned somber at the sight of him before he sat down in his seat and waited. He exchanged meaningful glances with Riku who looked at Risa in return. Her head was lowered, her stare concentrated on the desk before her firmly. And she was biting her lower lip.

Riku sighed and sat behind her desk quickly when the teacher entered the classroom and the noise quieted down almost immediately.

Everyone opened their books and notebooks and started scribbling, paying attention to the teacher and her words. Risa was looking at her, as well, but there was no spark of interest in them. The pencil was still in her hand, her thoughts someplace else.

When the teacher turned away and started writing something, Risa slowly craned her neck and glanced at the emotionless mask of Satoshi Hiwatari. She flinched a bit when his eyes met hers and she quickly turned her head back, suddenly having an urge to jump out of her seat and run away somewhere. To her left, Riku stared at the exchange and frowned.

Something was definitely up with those two. And she would definitely have to talk to Daisuke about it later.

Satoshi's gaze was set forward, ignoring blushing faces of other girls in the class. His eyes strayed to one head in particular, though when she turned around and looked at him briefly before she had quickly turned away. Something shifted in him and his eyes narrowed slightly, hidden behind lenses of his glasses.

He couldn't identify the feeling but it was there...again.

It was familiar, but there was something painful related to it, something that hurt and ached and he smothered it down only to have it resurface again when the younger Harada twin stole another worried look his way.

---

**a/n:**

Phew, I managed to sit down and write another chapter. Sorry for the lack of update...

On a random note – I finally downloaded some volumes of DNAngel manga! And now I have volumes 8-11! And I wish Bunny-sensei could finally update a new chapter, too! XD

Anyway, I'm sorry if this is a bit crappy; it was written in a hurry (why am I always writing when I'm in a hurry, anyway?) so forgive me if it sucks. Constructive criticism is welcome! And thank you all for wonderful reviews! Much love!


	5. Listen

Disclaimer: Alena doesn't own DNAngel.

**The Remedy**

-by Alena S. Anigor

---

_**V. Listen**_

---

She stared grimly at the almost blank page in her notebook; the words and definitions copied from the blackboard long forgotten. She could hear the sound of chalk scraping and clinking across the board animatedly and pencils running over the smooth paper around her but her hand remained still, a small pink pencil hanging limply from her fingers.

Why didn't he say anything?

Was he still angry with her?

Why did she feel so...stressed out because of it?

Someone's laughter reached her ears through the open window, making her blink at the way it sounded so odd amidst the dull rhythm of pencils and pens. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up, her eyes widening in surprise when she realized that she only copied the first paragraph from the blackboard and that the teacher was already wiping everything away. She gasped softly and quickly started scribbling what she could still see before the sponge left only a moist trail behind and she gaped at the half-finished definition in her notebook. She frowned and bit her lip in annoyance, frustrated with herself for not paying attention like she said she would and letting her mind wander off to the bespectacled boy sitting a few feet behind her...again.

She let out an exasperated sigh when the shrill ring of the bell finally signaled the end of the second period and the beginning of a longer break as the teacher struggled to remind everyone of their homework, trying to be heard over the exciting chatter of the girls and the yells of the boys that ran out of the classroom. Risa remained in her seat, fighting the urge to turn her head to see if the blue-haired boy was still sitting there. She chanced a small peek only to see a bunch of giggling girls instead of him, all gathered around his desk, asking him if he would like to meet them all outside after school.

She sighed and turned back in her seat, her expression somewhat troubled. She gripped the edges of her desk, wondering just why she was suddenly feeling sad and disappointed and angry and worried and...And what was wrong with that guy, anyway? She frowned, glaring at the blank lines in her notebook, wanting nothing more than to clobber him on the head for being so mystifying or run out of the classroom so she would never have to look at him again!

---

Daisuke jerked slightly when the bell rang, mostly due to the fact that he was slowly dozing off and then yelped in surprise when Riku suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him aside, almost hoisting him off his chair.

"Niwa-kun," she whispered and leaned closer to him, making the read-head blush profusely, thankful for Dark's disappearance and the lack of his sardonic remarks regarding their closeness. "We have to talk."

Daisuke blinked and looked at her, sweatdropping at the determined look in her eyes. Now, how could he dare to refuse her? "O-okay..."

He let her pull him to the open window, ignoring Saehara's embarrassing cooing sounds from nearby, concentrating on the feel of her hand in his. How he was glad that Dark was gone otherwise she would've glared at him, called him a "Pervert!" and throw him out the window by now, regardless of knowing his true identity.

"Listen Niwa-kun," She said in a hushed voice, letting go of his hand and making him look at her expectantly. "I think you should talk to Hiwatari-kun."

Daisuke's reaction was so predictable that Riku had to smile softly at his bewildered expression and stuttered "W-why? Is he sick again?"

"No," Riku replied steadily, glancing at the visible strands of blue between the gaps of girl's arms and then at her younger twin who looked like there was a constant, dark cloud looming over her head. "But something is definitely up with him...and Risa, too."

"Risa-san?" Daisuke asked in puzzlement, glancing at the girl in question and noticing her gloomy expression, as well. Then he looked across the room and caught his classmate staring at him somewhat keenly, his glasses flashing when they caught the light of the midday sun. He blinked when Satoshi suddenly stood up, excused himself and left the classroom briskly, leaving the girls around his desk pouting and complaining. Riku's expression saddened when she saw Risa look up from her notebook and stare after his retreating figure worriedly, biting her lower lip.

Both redheads frowned in concern; Riku wondering what really happened between those two at his apartment and Daisuke wondering if Hiwatari-kun was truly alright after the whole chaos with Krad had ended. His own wounds had healed and scars had vanished slowly, but...some wounds never healed and some scars remained forever and Hiwatari-kun was different, after all...

"Niwa-kun?" Riku's soft voice brought him back from digging through his memories and he smiled reassuringly at his girlfriend, nodding at her previous question.

"Okay, Riku-chan, I'll talk to him after school." He answered and her eyes brightened up, making him swallow and blush madly again when she hugged him firmly, blowing a whispered "Thank you" in his ear.

"Aww, aren't you two just adorable?" Saehara bellowed from his desk, grinning impishly at the young couple. Daisuke only mumbled something under his breath, his face practically glowing now while Riku turned to cast a glare his way.

"Jealous, Saehara?"

That made the wannabe reporter choke and gawk at her in disbelief, other students chuckling at his reaction. Risa was the only one who stared at the corridor wistfully, watching the shadows dance across the polished floor.

---

The sun was setting slowly, the schoolyard of Azumano High basking in orange hues, coming to life again with students' chatter as they walked down the concrete ground. It was over for today but Satoshi Hiwatari felt like he was back at the beginning of the first period.

He sighed heavily after he had sent another group of girls away, telling them politely how he didn't have time for...what exactly?

Dark was gone, Krad was gone (he decided to ignore the smug voice in his head that told him he might want to reconsider that thought), he no longer had to spend his days and nights lurking around corners, waiting for Dark's notices and setting up various traps inside numerous buildings and museums. He was free of his police work, he was no longer the _Chief Commander_; he had all the time in the world to do things normal teenagers did...

But somehow...he couldn't forget his voice, couldn't get rid of those menacing amber eyes, couldn't escape his clutches or stop the nightmares from coming...No, he still wasn't free, he still carried the burden of his condemned past and genes...He could never do things normal teenagers did, could he?

"Hiwatari-kun?"

He stopped briefly at the mention of his name, his temples throbbing unpleasantly, already prepared to just ignore another blushing, stuttering girl, but this voice sounded different and he turned around, coming eye to eye with his former archenemy and the only friend he's ever had.

Daisuke was standing stiffly in front of him; his expression serious and so out of place for a boy was constantly smiling or joking around.

"Niwa," He replied coolly, his hands automatically delving into the safety of his pockets. Daisuke glanced to the side, catching the sight of Harada twins and Riku's approving nod. Risa just kept her eyes to the ground, walking slowly, almost robotically down the schoolyard. Daisuke looked at him again and took a deep breath.

"Could I...I mean, do you, uh...have some time?"

He almost smiled at the fidgeting boy, almost, but his face remained an unreadable mask as he craned his neck a bit, his eyes tinted with sunset. He did have time, yes...For Daisuke, he always had time, whether he liked it or not.

"I suppose."

Daisuke heaved a sigh of relief and took a few steps forward, smiling softly at him. Now, that smile suited him better.

"Then, would you like to go sit somewhere?"

"This is going to be a long conversation?" He asked, Daisuke sweatdropping at the question, scratching the back of his head uneasily.

"Ah, well, uh...ehm..."

He watched him stutter and struggle with his words, and this time he did smile, turning around slowly and heading towards one of the benches in the park. Perhaps, he could use some fresh air. The thought of going back to his cold apartment didn't seem too appealing at the moment and he suppressed the urge to rub his temples.

"Let's go."

Daisuke stopped babbling and blinked at his retreating back, watching him strolling nonchalantly down the schoolyard. His expression turned somber for just a moment, watching the spot between his shoulder blades solemnly before he nodded and decided to follow. Some wounds never heal and some scars always remain.

"Ah, yes."

---

"Risa?"

"Hmm?"

Riku stopped behind her, frowning at her sister's hunched shoulders and a swaying, messy ponytail. She took a deep breath and caught up with her, looking at her firmly.

"Would you stop doing that already?"

"I'm not doing anything to you."

"Stop doing that to _yourself!_"

That made the younger Harada stop and look at her sister in wonder, chocolate eyes looking weary and drained. "What?"

Riku sighed again and glanced at the sky, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the clouds. This was even worse than when Dark was around – at least then she seemed _alive_; seeing her look so lost and helpless and sad was just _not right._ That wasn't the Risa she knew, Risa everybody knew. Risa smiled and laughed and obsessed over boys and make-up and purple-haired perverts and...

"Just...just _tell me_ what's wrong with you, Risa!" She exclaimed; her voice and eyes pleading. Risa stared at her dully, standing in the middle of the pathway to their home, holding her schoolbag firmly and letting the wind carry her bangs into her eyes. Riku was silent, her face in the shadows but her eyes shimmered with pure concern and the need to help her with what ever was troubling her.

But, the thing was – Risa herself didn't know what was troubling her...and why.

She shook her head slowly and gazed down solemnly, biting her lower lip. "I don't know, Riku."

She was staring at the ground blankly, the wind tousling her bangs and ponytail and then gasped slightly when she felt Riku's arms around her and her forehead on her shoulder. Her eyes widened in surprise at her action, her vision suddenly becoming blurry as tears gathered and glistened in the corners of her eyes. She dropped her schoolbag to the ground and hugged her sister firmly, letting the tears fall silently down her cheeks.

"It's okay," Riku was repeating in her ear, patting her on the back in a placating manner. "It'll be okay..."

She sniffled, staring at the sunset and the shimmering waves miserably, wondering what was happening to her.

---

It was quiet in the park, all other benches around them deserted as they were sitting on the one overlooking the street. It was empty, too, like everyone decided to leave them alone on this particular afternoon. That suited Satoshi just fine.

Daisuke was sitting next to him, watching the sunset quietly and wondering what to say to him and how. They were both silent, sitting there and resembling two, unmoving statues the time and people had forgotten rather then two friends having a talk. Finally, Daisuke took a deep breath, placed his hands on his knees and looked at him firmly.

"Uh, so, Hiwatari-kun, how-"

"Did Harada-san send you to talk to me?"

Daisuke gulped, his eyes bulging out at the question, his face turning an interesting shade of pink. He gaped at his profile in astonishment for a while before Satoshi turned his head to give him an inquiring look. That look almost reminded Daisuke of one of the looks he would give Dark during their more _pleasant _encounters. Daisuke swallowed, sweatdropping slightly at the scene, instinctively backing away from him a bit.

"You really don't miss anything, do you?"

Satoshi just smirked at the remark and glanced at the sunset again. Daisuke smiled softly in return, gazing at the empty can of cola on the street. Silence ensued again, but it wasn't an uncomfortable one. Instead, Daisuke relaxed and leaned back into the solid wood of the bench, still warm from the sun.

"That doesn't mean I'm not worried about you, as well," He chimed after a few moments of staring at the small ball of paper rolling by. "I am and...I'd really like to help you if you...you know...uhm..."

Red eyes filled with compassion and understanding met blue ones with hidden sorrow and pain that still managed to peek through the mask that was slowly cracking.

Satoshi stared at him for a few moments, a mixture of odd feelings making his eyes glimmer. He wasn't used to spilling out his problems to anyone...He'd never dared to come so close to someone to be able to share his thoughts and feelings with that person...But, the other part of him, the one that now felt free and willing enough to _try_ to confide in someone desperately wanted to get it out of his system...and there was Daisuke, the only person he dared to call his friend, the only person who understood him more than anyone.

Daisuke, as if sensing his inner battle, smiled softly and shook his head. "It's okay, you...you don't have to tell me anything or...you know...but..." and then he stopped when Satoshi took his glasses off, staring at them with an almost wistful smile on his lips.

"Do you know," he started, choosing his words carefully, afraid to actually speak them out loud. "That I've always wished to have someone I could talk to like this?"

Daisuke couldn't pretend that he wasn't surprised by his action and his sudden interruption. He stared at him in wonder with his lips parted and his eyes wide.

This was Satoshi he'd never seen before; this was Satoshi beneath the seemingly unbreakable mask, Satoshi made of flesh and blood, of pain and sorrow, of secret thoughts and hidden emotions. And Daisuke was happy to see that Satoshi finally coming out to say hello to him.

Still slightly taken aback, it took Satoshi to raise a pair of questioning eyebrows to make him snap out of his amazement. Slowly, he shook his head in response, not knowing what to say to something like that coming from the enigmatic boy next to him. Satoshi fell silent again, gazing thoughtfully at the last sliver of orange on the horizon. Daisuke waited patiently, observing the inner struggle evident on his face again.

"Hiwatari-kun?"

The bespectacled boy took a deep breath then exhaled slowly, his eyes focused on the town ahead. It was somehow easier this way.

"He won't leave me alone."

Daisuke frowned in confusion and almost opened his mouth to ask "who?" when his own mind smacked him and he realized whom they were talking about. And then he frowned in confusion again.

"But...but I thought-"

"I know," Satoshi cut in, putting his glasses back on in one smooth motion, the lenses flashing over his eyes again. "And they _are_ gone."

Daisuke's puzzlement only grew by his reply. "Then...what are you...?"

Satoshi pried his eyes away from the darkening sky; cool evening breeze tousling his bangs and then he looked at Daisuke's anticipating face. He suddenly felt so tired and drained and Daisuke blinked at the sudden lack of light in his eyes. They looked so...torn.

"He keeps on haunting me in my nightmares," he explained, looking at Daisuke dully. "I can't get rid of him...He won't leave me alone..."

The sun had vanished behind the horizon, leaving only a few reddish and purple clouds behind, accompanied by the falling darkness and sparkling stars. The cool breeze played with Daisuke's spiky hair and the hems of his school uniform as he stared at his companion thoughtfully. Satoshi said nothing more and Daisuke thought he didn't even have to; he understood completely. Biting his lip, the redhead clasped his hands in his lap before he spoke again.

"When Dark disappeared...when they both disappeared, I...I have to admit I missed having him around." A small smile played on his lips as he spoke, Satoshi turning his head to look at him somberly. "Even though he caused nothing but trouble, really but...with Dark, I...I wasn't alone. I also had someone to talk to, to confide in. And when he disappeared it was hard for me not to have anyone to talk to anymore...I mean," he raised his hands in defense when Satoshi gave him a somewhat wry look, "of course I had Riku-chan and Risa-san to talk to and With but...Dark was...It was like having an older brother you could depend on...It was hard to say goodbye to him, to let go of him, you know? But...in the end," he stopped and looked at the shimmering dots in the sky with a smile and Satoshi followed his gaze thoughtfully, "I had to let go of him and I was really happy I've had the chance to meet him and be friends with him."

Crickets started to chirp in the bushes behind them, as streetlamps flickered on, illuminating the park with artificial light, shadows stretching over the grass and concrete. Daisuke turned to look at the other boy and found him frowning at him.

"So, what are you trying to say?"

Daisuke took a deep breath and stood up, picking his backpack off the ground and shouldering it, Satoshi's eyes following his movements. He opened his mouth then faltered, not sure about his reaction. Satoshi waited.

"Yes?"

"Well," Daisuke started hesitantly, scratching the back of his head again. Satoshi stared at him keenly.

"Niwa..."

Daisuke smiled uneasily at the warning tone in his voice before he decided to continue. "I think...I think Krad is not the one holding you back...I think...I think you still haven't let go of him..."

The look on Satoshi's face made Daisuke step back quickly, raising his hands in defense after seeing the shock, disbelief and appall in his eyes. "Why would I want to do that?" He exclaimed angrily, standing up so abruptly that Daisuke flinched.

"No!" Daisuke exclaimed, flailing his arms. "I'm not saying that you _want_ that, it's just that...are you still afraid he might come back?"

Satoshi's ire cooled down a bit, his fists clenched by his sides as he looked away from him, gritting his teeth. "Yes."

Some of Daisuke's sympathy crept back into his eyes, his hands reaching for the straps of his backpack. "You have to stop thinking like that, Hiwatari-kun," he said in a calm, leveled voice, "if you're going to be afraid of him coming back, he'll never truly leave you...You...You have to let go of him...of that fear of yours."

Satoshi's glasses flashed again when he raised his head to gape at Daisuke's words and expression, his fists unclenching, his arms hanging limply by his sides. He blinked when Daisuke smiled uneasily at him again and looked at his watch.

"Uhm, I have to go now," He said, adjusting his backpack again. "But...if you want, we could talk tomorrow again," he added, the smile on his face genuine and honest. "We're friends, right?"

Satoshi still stared and when Daisuke called him by his name again, he blinked, snapping out of his thoughts and refocusing on his words. Daisuke smiled when he slowly nodded in agreement, albeit absentmindedly. The redhead turned to leave then, wishing him a good night and waving at him, his shoes thumping against the pavement as he started to run down the street.

Satoshi stared after his silhouette for a long time, until he because just a tiny speck in the distance and vanished in the darkness of the night.

They were friends, right?

He sat down on the bench again, letting his back hit the wooden surface and his head hang over the edge. His eyes closed for a moment and then opened, directed at the sea of tiny clouds and stars above, scattered over the velvety curtain of night.

As much as it pained him to admit it to himself, Daisuke was right...Dark was gone...It was a certain fact. And with him, the homicidal monster also vanished...And that was a certain fact...So why was he still the one hanging onto the damned demon? Why was he stopping himself from living a normal life? Why was he stopping himself from being happy for a change?

_Because you don't know what happiness is...Because you've never had a normal life...Because you only had that damned demon to hang onto...You've never known of anything or anyone else..._

He sighed heavily and inhaled the scent of night, lenses mirroring the stars above.

_How do I get rid of you? How do I let go of you?_

_How do I find happiness?_

---

**a/n:**

It's amazing what you can come up with while lying in bed with a cold...

This chapter is perhaps a bit...I don't know...rushed? Twisted? Out of character? You be the judge. It was really hard to get into both Satoshi and Risa's head and play with their emotions and pains of growing up...and let's not forget Daisuke! But, somehow, I think the boy's always been mature for his age... XD

Anyway, thank you so much for all those wonderful reviews and till next chapter, much love!


	6. Think

Disclaimer: I don't even own one single volume of the manga, let alone IT.

--

**The Remedy**

-by Alena S. Anigor

--

**_VI. Think_**

--

He was staring at the ceiling when his alarm clock went off the next morning; blue orbs gazing dully at the game of shadows on the blank, white surface above him. He was ignoring the persistent buzzing of the alarm for a while until the ringing became too much for his sleep deprived mind and one hand reached absentmindedly for it, dainty fingers pushing the button on the dark device. He sighed heavily and craned his neck to look outside the window, his expression a mixture of weariness and distress.

It was past seven am and there he was, lying awake for what seemed hours to him, his eyelids heavy and burning but his mind fully awake and alert, dark half-moons around his eyes the telltale signs of his restless night.

After the conversation he had with Daisuke, he had returned to a lifeless little place he called his apartment, and from then on, felt and acted like someone had put him on autopilot.

His mind hadn't even registered his body slipping out of his clothes and leading him to the bathroom; he was standing like a numb doll under the shower, letting the droplets of water assault his hair and skin and prickle at his eyes that were cast down, staring lifelessly at his feet as the water flowed down the drain, spinning in circles like his own troubled mind.

He had actually wanted to laugh out loud at the sheer irony of it all, but he didn't. He stood there, trying to remember how to laugh and pondering whether he _had_ actually ever laughed before.

Half an hour later, he had found himself in his bed, his hair wet and tousled, his arms set firmly next to his body, his back resting on the crisp sheets that smelled of something flowery. For a very long time, he remained like that, just lying still and staring at the ceiling, wondering why on earth he was doing that to himself.

_Was_ it even him? Wasn't it Krad's doing? ...No, Krad was gone, right? But then, why did it feel like he was still there, hiding and skipping happily somewhere in the back of his mind, forever taunting, haunting, whispering obscene scenarios in his ear? His fingers jerked involuntarily when he could still feel cold clutches of the demented, sadistic blond, tightening their hold on him like claws, digging into his flesh, into his mind, into his soul, ever present.

Daisuke's words flew into his mind then, making him open his eyes (when had he closed them, anyway?) and slowly turn on his side, outstretching his arms over the pillow and staring at the silent silhouette of his dresser next to his bed.

_"I think Krad is not the one holding you back...I think...I think you still haven't let go of him..."_

And just how absurd was that?

He would've done and still would do anything, _anything_ to get rid of him...to really get rid of him. Dark was gone and therefore, Krad just _had_ to be gone, as well but something, _something_ still remained of the psychotic beast that dwelled within him as long as he could remember. His mind just couldn't explain why or how...When all the rationalities abandoned him, his mind started to play with less rational solutions: what if Krad had released some kind of spell on him, some kind of sinister magic, something that would ensure his existence even if he were to physically disappear from this world?

What if...what if...what if...

The words kept on repeating themselves in an endless circle of unanswered questions and possibilities, the gears of his mind spinning madly to try to reason it out.

_"You have to stop thinking like that, Hiwatari-kun,"_...Daisuke's words of wisdom whispered again somewhere in that rational part of his mind that wouldn't abandon him just yet. _"...if you're going to be afraid of him coming back, he'll never truly leave you...You...You have to let go of him...of that fear of yours."_

Ahh, yes. To let go of the fear, wasn't it? He inhaled slowly, letting out a shaky breath, his lips curving into a cynical smile.

Everything has always seemed so easy to Daisuke, hasn't it? There was no '_easier said than done'_ in his case. No matter how hard and difficult the obstacles seemed, Daisuke would always somehow find a way to overcome them. _Almost magically_, he thought and let out a bitter chuckle.

He really envied Niwa sometimes; he envied his optimism and clumsy, carefree nature that always got him out of sticky situations he was so prone to finding himself in.

But, when it came to him, things always got hard, regardless of all his genius and cleverness. Sure, he was smart enough to reason with almost every problem that came his way, but...Daisuke had that emotional, mental freedom he so lacked. Daisuke was the one who could walk freely down the road of his life with a smile on his face and the attitude that everything would turn out fine in the end.

He couldn't afford to think that way. He couldn't afford to feel that way. He couldn't afford to _feel_, period.

Everything was always so easy for everyone else, but him. _Easy_ didn't exist in his vocabulary. He only had numerous synonyms for the word _complicated_.

When those two entities had disappeared, leaving them both free of their burdens of the past generations, he had thought he could finally find that freedom; that he could finally breathe easily and do things he had always wanted. But, he had never thought he _himself_ would deprive his life of all those things he could've had and all those things he still could have. His life was supposed to be short and fragile, extinguishable like the soft flicker of a candle burning in the wind...He had managed to overcome that. So, why was he doing the exact opposite now?

He supposed he truly was afraid to move on. He didn't quite _know_ how to move on. Living his whole life as a tool of a homicidal former artist, being afraid to form any kind of bonds with anyone just to keep them safe and sound, being just a shell of a boy he was supposed to be...was it any wonder he didn't know how to act now?

He felt like a caged animal set free – it didn't know what to do with that freedom or where to go. Because all it had known for its entire life, all _he_ had known for his entire life was that cage and now, that he was free, he felt nothing but confused and lost. Afraid.

He was afraid of that freedom and he was afraid to get used to it. He still lingered close to that cage because it offered him security he was used to but so desperately wanted to get out from.

To let go of his fear...to let go of Krad...Why did it sound so easy and so compelling? What did he need? There was something missing...a very vital thing that would push him in the right direction, but what?

It was only then that he realized he was staring at the ceiling again when his alarm clock went off for the second time and that he had wasted all night thinking about something he really _shouldn't have_ been thinking of.

Sighing heavily, he lifted his heavy body into a sitting position, feeling a headache pounding violently against his skull.

"Suits me right," he murmured. No wonder his head was hurting; he had just spent more than seven hours, contemplating his sorry excuse for a life instead of resting. He almost chuckled.

And what else was new?

Well, at least he wasn't experiencing those hellish nightmares, so the sleepless night was at least good for something.

Realizing he was becoming way more bitter than usual, he got up slowly, thankful for the alarm clock and the waking dawn outside. Maybe now, he would stop plaguing himself with all kinds of weird thoughts about Krad and possible evil installments he might've placed inside his mind. He decided to drag himself to the bathroom to wash his face. When he lifted his head, his eyes deadpanned, looking at the other Satoshi in the mirror.

Oh, he looked absolutely _charming_ with his hair sticking out in all directions and his eyes all baggy and his face pale and ashen.

Letting out another halfhearted sigh, he left the bathroom in search of his school uniform.

Maybe, if he talked to Daisuke some more, then he would...

He halted in the middle of pulling his shirt over his head, letting it sink in slowly.

He could talk to Daisuke now. He had...he had someone to talk to now. He _could_ talk to someone now. He had...he had a friend, right?

"A friend..." He murmured, letting the word roll off his tongue slowly, as if testing it. He half expected Krad to snicker smugly at him for that, but nothing and no one dared to say otherwise.

Skipping breakfast, he hurried to get out of the cold confines of his apartment, his feet carrying him hurriedly down the corridor.

He almost smiled when he realized he actually truly looked forward to something for once.

* * *

Riku let out an exasperated sigh when she glanced at her sister from across the classroom. The murky cloud of depression and gloominess had, as it seemed, taken a liking to her sister's current state since it hadn't budged from above her for two whole days.

Riku suppressed the urge to trot up to her and shake her to make her get back to the land of the living. She had started to resemble those half-dead maidens from a horror movie they watched some time ago. Not to mention that she had almost given her a heart attack when she had caught her walking around the house in the ungodly hours of the night like a ghost, wandering around in her light nightgown.

She tried talking to her that morning over breakfast but the younger replica of hers remained more or less unresponsive, giving only occasional nods or shrugs to her concerned questions.

Riku sighed again at her spot by the open window, wishing she could do something about it. Seeing her usually cheerful and talkative sister slowly dying away from the inside made her stomach turn and her chest clench unpleasantly. They were twins; they were connected in a way. She could pretty much feel what she was feeling and the feeling made her want to huddle in some dark corner and stay there forever, all alone with her jumbled thoughts and twisting knots in her stomach, feeling like her heart was going numb...

She snapped out of those horrible thoughts when she heard a car honk somewhere outside the building and slowly turned around to see someone walking down the schoolyard. Her eyes widened when she recognized tresses of sky blue, accompanied by a lithe figure of Satoshi Hiwatari. Casting a more scrutinizing look his way, she noticed there was something different about his gait today; he was walking hurriedly towards the school building, more animatedly than she had ever seen him walk. Usually, his stoic nature was conveyed by his steps – always slow, concentrated and purposeful. Today, it seemed as if his feet were trying to carry him to something he eagerly wanted to know about.

Riku's eyes automatically flew to Risa's hunched form, knowing that she was still concerned about the bespectacled boy and the way he shrugged her off the other day. Well, she supposed she would feel gloomy if Daisuke was giving her the same treatment, but still...Maybe Hiwatari's presence would make her snap out of her troubled state.

She really had no idea what was wrong with her – the solemn moment they shared a couple of days ago was still troubling her immensely. She had never seen her sister look so broken and disheartened, not even when Dark disappeared. She desperately wished she could help her somehow, but if Risa herself didn't know what was going on with her, what could she do?

She just hoped her sister would turn back to her previous, cheerful self. Otherwise, she didn't know what she would do.

Riku's attention had slipped away from Risa when the doors of the classroom opened and another owner of unruly, red spikes entered the classroom, greeting Saehara politely on his way to his desk. The usually boisterous reporter was unusually quiet today, offering just a halfhearted reply in return, his head thumping against his desk when he haphazardly let it drop so he could go back to snoring again. Riku waved at Daisuke and he sauntered towards her, leaving his school bag by his chair.

"'Morning, Niwa-kun," she exclaimed when he stopped in front of her and she suddenly realized he had gotten a tad taller again. She had to look up slightly to look him in the eyes now. She stared at the curious boy in front of him in a daze until Daisuke craned his head a bit and gave her a strange look.

"'Morning, uhm...Riku-chan?"

"Ah!" She snapped out of her stupor when she realized that she was staring at him and he was starting to fidget in front of her in his usual, Daisuke-like manner. He was just so adorable sometimes.

She smiled at him in return and he blushed slightly, averting his bright gaze to stare at the floor, his hand automatically reaching up to scratch the back of his head, a nervous smile playing on his lips.

"Sorry, I spaced out a bit. You...you've gotten taller again," she remarked, raising her own hand that hovered a few inches over her head and on top of his.

"You think?" He raised his head a bit, that cute blush still on his face. But, he was smiling sweetly at her and Riku couldn't help but let out a giggle and ruffle his spikes that made Daisuke let out a yelp and fidget even more. Saehara added his own two cents somewhere from behind them, but they didn't care.

They looked so happy in their own little world and Risa, for one moment, felt that horrible pang of jealousy in her chest, averting her dark, chocolate orbs away from the sight of the two of them. She just couldn't look at them anymore. Not like that. Not when they were happy and together and she felt like everything she clung onto was slowly being torn away from her, piece by piece.

She was glad her sister had found happiness; she was just feeling miserable she also wasn't the lucky one.

She directed her attention to her notebook, the blank page staring back at her, empty and white. Empty like her heart. She just didn't know what she was feeling anymore. Everything was confusing her – the absence of Dark and those days spent in chasing the phantom thief; when he disappeared together with Krad, she felt like a huge chunk of something big and important had disappeared together with him. Whether that something was her heart, her soul, dreams or something else, she couldn't tell. She just knew she felt like she was drowning in an endless whirlpool of her inner turmoil.

And then, there was Satoshi Hiwatari, the pained, tortured boy she wanted to help and who-

Her breath got stuck in her throat for a brief moment when she spotted him standing in the doorway in his school uniform, panting slightly and scanning the classroom with those ever piercing, azure eyes. Their gazes met for a moment and she stiffened, those eyes sending shivers and prickles down her spine, awakening forgotten, slumbering butterflies in her stomach.

Today, his gaze however, was slightly different. There wasn't that cool, composed and clever shimmer in those orbs; it was almost like they were more _alive_, like there was more light flickering in them. They looked bluer and deeper and for a moment, she thought she could drown in them if she stared at them any longer.

She blinked in wonder and jerked involuntarily when she thought she saw him nod in her direction, but she wasn't sure if he had really greeted her or her eyes were deceiving her. Either way, her lips curved up in a hesitant smile, her eyes softening slightly.

He looked away the next moment and turned his head to look at the standing couple on the other side of the classroom so she bowed her head as well, staring at the blank page again, realizing her heart had suddenly sped up and was thumping strongly against her ribcage. What was that just now?

She slowly raised her hand and rested her palm against her chest, listening to the excited voices of other girls gushing about the blue-haired boy returning to their class. Her face felt like someone had just heated it up and she was positive there was steam coming off of her cheeks so she bowed her head lower, letting her hair fall over her face.

"Excuse me," Satoshi said politely and moved past the younger Harada coolly and past the chattering girls, looking at Daisuke who was observing him carefully from his spot next to Riku, the short-haired twin's expression also sobering quickly. He was just about to round a few chairs when the doors of the classroom opened again and their teacher entered. Everyone's voices hushed down, the sound of chairs being pulled over the parquet floor filling the classroom.

Satoshi frowned slightly, having no choice but to sit down, as well, but not before casting a knowing look to Daisuke who raised his eyebrows for a moment but then nodded discreetly in response. Riku only blinked at the silent communication between them, wondering just what where those two up to now. She opened her textbooks and leaned forward, remembering that she had suggested Daisuke to talk to the Hiwatari boy.

"All right class!" The teacher clapped her hands twice and with a cheerful voice, continued. "Before we continue, I have one announcement to make!"

Usually, she would more or less pay attention to the teacher but now she had more important things to think about. She glanced at the still figure of her sister and bit her lower lip. She would have to ask Daisuke about that later; she definitely wanted to know what Hiwatari had said to him and what they were talking about yesterday. She wasn't that close to the boy genius, but she still cared about him, especially after finding out about his own troubled life.

She would've continued to sigh heavily and think about the current problems bugging them all when the word _fieldtrip_ rang in her ears and she quickly turned her attention to their teacher, frowning slightly in annoyance when the commotion ensued in the class.

"No way! Again? I don't wanna go on any stupid school trip!" Saehara bellowed, pouting in the back of the class, some boys quietly agreeing with him.

"But why? It will be fun!" The teacher, a young woman with long, wavy hair asked, confusion clearly written over her face. She thought young people liked to go on fieldtrips. Saehara glared at her in response, making her blink in surprise.

"Well, one time we were freezing our asses off on that mountain and then last time, we had to play rescuers because the Haradas got lost!"

"Hey!" Riku exclaimed, glaring daggers at the reporter wannabe, her fists clenched. Daisuke grimaced, already well familiar with Riku's fiery temper. Risa cringed at the remark, sinking, if that was even possible, even lower into her chair. She really didn't want to remember _that_ incident. She had almost drowned if there weren't for...whom exactly?

All she could remember was waking up to see Satoshi Hiwatari towering over her, with a strand of her hair in his hand. A light blush crept up on her cheeks again at the memory. Honestly now, what exactly _had_ happened there that time?

"Class! Class, calm down!" The teacher exclaimed in distress, trying to make herself heard over the argument that now ensued between those who wanted to go and those who didn't want to go on a school trip. She managed to duck a flying pencil just in time.

"So, what is it this time? Some freaky zoo?" Saehara drawled, irritated that Daisuke was still trying to decide whether he was on his or Riku's side. "Knowing our luck, we'll probably have to save one of you girls from lion's cage!"

"Ugh, that's IT!" Riku screamed and got up, ready to pummel the reporter junior to the ground. Other girls also jumped up from their chairs and Daisuke's eyes widened when he realized that the school trip fight had escalated into a fight between boys and girls.

"Oh, man..." he mumbled dejectedly, holding Riku's arms and trying to stop her from strangling Saehara. He glanced at the other, seemingly, only sane person in the classroom and caught him deadpanning at the situation.

Satoshi sighed, but there was definitely amusement evident in his eyes as he got up and turned to face the class.

The girls quieted down almost immediately, watching him in anticipation and admiration. Daisuke's lips quirked into an uneasy smile; they almost looked enthralled as if expecting Hiwatari to perform some kind of magic trick that would solve everything. Well, Daisuke mused, perhaps he could've pulled off something like that before, but now...they were both helpless. And probably hopeless, too.

Satoshi cleared his throat softly and Risa turned her head shyly to look at his lean figure. He seemed to tower over everyone else in class.

"Since we can't agree like this, I suggest we vote," he spoke in his usual smooth voice, glancing at Daisuke and his fruitless attempts to keep Riku away from Saehara. The girl was still trying to burn holes in the other boy.

There was a pregnant pause, followed by the teacher's encouraging words. "Right then! Thank you, Hiwatari-kun! Now...let's see." She ventured, glad that at least someone had common sense to do something about the whole ordeal. "All those who want to go on a school trip, raise your hands, please!"

All the girls' hands flew up in a second, Riku slashing the air with a vehement movement of her own. Truth be told, she wasn't _that_ keen on going on a school trip, but right now, she was ready to even do that just to piss Saehara off.

When she turned and looked at Daisuke questioningly, eyes glimmering threateningly, Daisuke gulped visibly and raised his hand, thus sealing his fate. Saehara snorted from his seat. "Traitor."

The teacher counted the votes and then huffed, planting her hands on her hips. "It's a draw!"

"Hah!" Saehara exclaimed victoriously and got a few cheers from the other boys. The girls groaned and started complaining.

"It can't be a draw! There's 27 of us!"

Riku looked around to see Risa's decision but the girl didn't have her hand raised; she was just sitting there, still like a statue and staring ahead. Riku almost growled.

"Risa! Raise your hand!"

"Huh?" Upon hearing her name, the younger Harada snapped out of her stupor and then twitched slightly when she realized that all eyes were on her.

"You get to decide whether we go or not! Come on!" Riku almost screeched and Daisuke flinched. Sometimes, Riku was just plain scary when she set her mind to do something.

"Yeah, Risa, come on! You like to go on school trips!"

"Yeah, come on, it'll be fun, Risa!"

"Yeah Harada, raise your hand. And then we'll kill you, you know."

"SHUT UP Saehara!" Riku screamed again and once again, Daisuke had a real trouble keeping her where she was. Risa, with her eyes wide and mouth agape, stared blinkingly at everyone, getting encouraging comments from the girls and glares from the boys.

"Uhh...I, uh...Well..." she looked around, noticing Daisuke's red but smiling face, Riku's wild grin and a look in her eyes that promised slow and painful death later if she were to say no. She swallowed and let out a nervous chuckle. She was really out of it all; when had the teacher mentioned anything about a school trip, anyway?

But then, she looked at a pair of cool, amused eyes and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw his hand in the air. Satoshi Hiwatari also wanted to go on this trip?

"Uhm..." She muttered, watching those calm, collected eyes that shimmered with something else but loneliness and hurt today. She blinked when she thought again that she had seen his eyes flicker at her and his neck crane just an inch to the left but then it was gone and he was back to being his cool, collected self.

"Risa!" Riku hissed from across the room and Risa jerked, knowing that all hell would break loose later if she declined. And, besides, Daisuke would be there, and all her friends would be there and...Satoshi Hiwatari would be there, too...

Casting one last look his way, she was kind of disappointed his head was turned but she really did like school trips...and she really hoped she could talk to him. She felt like she needed to talk to him or otherwise she would burst or die or...something!

"Yes!" She exclaimed and her hand flew in the air. "I'll go!"

"Yes!" All the girls exclaimed, sending mocking looks and words to the groaning boys. Riku, finally free of Daisuke's hold, stood over Saehara's hunched form with a satisfactory gleam in her eyes and actually cackled.

"Take that, Saehara!" And with that, she turned on her heel, trotted up to her seat and sat down with a smile on her face. Daisuke approached his friend cautiously, an apologetic look on his face.

"Uh, sorry..."

"That's okay," Saehara mumbled and Daisuke flinched; he looked like he was considering the thought of jumping out of the window and commiting suicide. "With a girlfriend like that, I'm not surprised. I really hope you'll live to see your 21st birthday."

"I heard that." Daisuke smiled uncomfortably when he heard Riku's syrupy reply from her seat and sighed heavily. He really did start missing having some of Dark's powers.

When the commotion finally stopped and all was settled about the school trip, the class returned to normal and soon, nobody was saying anything; the only audible sounds were the teacher's words, the chalk sliding over the blackboard and pencils scribbling animatedly over the papery surface.

Risa, whose heart was still racing in her chest, couldn't concentrate one bit. If anything else, she was even more confused now. Wasn't Satoshi ignoring her? Didn't he hate her or dislike her? After all, after he shrugged her off like that and ignored her for days, what was she supposed to think? And now...there was something different about him. Yes, he did look a bit tired and weary, but something..._something_ was just different. His eyes and the way he looked at her, that flicker of some kind of emotion in his eyes...what was it?

She bit her lower lip and nodded to herself. She would have to talk to him again. Maybe during the school trip. Yes, definitely during the school trip. She was still worried about his health after that incident on his doorstep. She shuddered slightly at the memory of his head in the crook of her neck, his body slumped against hers...

"Aiya!" She hissed and quickly lowered her nose to her notebook after receiving a few odd looks from her classmates.

Feeling that familiar heat in her cheeks, she sighed and shook her head, mentally berating herself for such an outburst. But, although her feelings were still a jumbled mess she couldn't sort out, she felt a little bit better...lighter. She wondered why, when just an hour ago she wanted to huddle in some dark corner and stay there forever.

Her fingers twitched slightly when a sudden urge to turn around and look at the object of her previous thoughts and chagrin hit her unexpectedly. She restrained from doing that, though, choosing to look at the blackboard and copy the notes instead. She never thought her adolescent years would be this troublesome and turbulent. And there wasn't even a phantom thief involved now.

A few seats behind her, Satoshi was sitting calmly in his chair, his eyes absentmindedly looking out the window, Daisuke observing him questioningly from his seat across the room, wondering what his former arch nemesis and his friend wanted to talk to him about. He seriously wanted to help him overcome his fears and live a normal, happy life he so much desired. Seeing him being so tortured and haunted by his own emotions and thoughts now was like watching With squirm in pain.

It pained him, too.

* * *

When the last bell finally rang and signaled the end of the school for the day, Satoshi had tried to approach Daisuke but the latter was first hoisted from his chair and dragged away by a, suddenly, very lively looking Saehara and then later, he was dragged away by Riku, who started whispering something in his ear near the school entrance.

He sighed and shoved his hands in the secure depths of his pockets; he would have to wait for tomorrow and the school trip to talk to him.

As odd as it felt to be asking someone for help, Satoshi needed to know how to get rid of that fear; how to walk freely down his own path like Daisuke could. He didn't want to be afraid of his newly gained freedom. He had spent all these years and all his efforts to get out of that cage...he didn't go through all that pain and hardships only to get himself locked in his prison again.

He stopped in the middle of the school yard, watching Daisuke following Riku and frowned slightly. Honestly, the boy was being dragged around too much.

When Daisuke turned around, warm crimson orbs searching for him, he waved at him apologetically, mouthing _tomorrow_ before Riku caught his attention again, hollering something about "that stupid Saehara". He also caught a glimpse of the younger Harada's brown tresses and her solemn gaze before they all disappeared behind the corner.

He sighed again and waved back to no one in particular anymore, his lips curving into a barely visible smile, but it was a genuine one.

He continued walking down the yard slowly, surrounded by the voices of other students hurrying past him, the almost same sunset greeting him upon exiting the yard.

He stopped and looked up, noticing the sky changing slightly, the first flickers of stars becoming visible. A light breeze wafted by and tousled his hair before he continued down the street at a leisurely pace.

He didn't know if the nightmares would come again but this time, he decided he would at least try to fight them, to fight Krad, to fight the locked horrors of his own fears and mind.

For all his academic achievements, he realized that he still had a lot to learn.

He just hoped he was ready to fight himself this time.

--

TBC

* * *

**a/n****:**

My goodness, I haven't seen this _submit new chapter_ page for so long! ...Maybe too long, heh...

But seriously, I must apologize for not updating this for so long. As usual, job got in the way, university got in the way, moving to another town got in the way, _life_ got in the way...you get the drill. XD I just hope it will take me less time to update a new chapter next time. ...I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this story... .

Uhm...yes! School trip! I'm so original, ain't I? Well, the exams ate all my muses and inspiration. But, I hope I'll get to make it interesting.

This chapter was only scarcely double-checked because I have to pack and move again so if you see any mistakes, typos, rushed plot and so on, please forgive me!

Also, have you seen the latest manga chapters? Sugisaki-san has finally started working on DN Angel again! And the last chapter in a row was a real shocker! Both for us SatoxRisa fans and yaoi fangirls, probably, ha-ha!

Ahem, anyway...off I go. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as long and probably stupid and retarded it was. :D

Much love!

-A.S.A


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